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Baphomet’s New Orleans (17th Ed.): The Christmas Lounge December 10, 2015

Posted by The Typist in Baphomet's New Orleans, Christmas, New Orleans, The Narrative, The Typist, Toulouse Street, Uptown.
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The Christmas (or Christmas Tree) Lounge is a bad answer to any question. Located just over Lowerline Street from stolidly respectable Uptown–the tourist-bus haunt of gnarled oaks, neo-Classical mansions and money as old as Egypt, rooted in a river, cotton and slavery–the Christmas Lounge stands in the adjacent nineteenth century suburb of Carrollton, long ago its own town with a quaint neo-Classical courthouse turned school just where the streetcars turn at the spot called Riverbend by real estate agents but known to past generations Uptown as the Devil’s Elbow. Surrounded by the once modest but now fashionable bungalows of a prosperous antebellum bourgeoisie and their employees, like all good dive bars the Christmas Lounge has the low-roofed and neon ambiance of a place men once gathered to wreath themselves in cigarette smoke and drink away the day’s labor straight from the beer bottle.

Today it is more likely filled with weary service people after the manager has tossed them out of the bar and everywhere respectable is closed, and the children of local, Jersey and Long Island money who mingle with the confident ease of daddy’s platinum card, students at Uptown’s expensive if not precisely prestigious universities, scholars of the sort who have quiet forgotten exactly which class they are in. Here the next generation of waiters and lawyers assemble to while away the smallest hours of morning with a studied drunkenness handed down in New Orleans from generation to generation.

The Christmas tree can manage a quite respectable martini early the evening, but the specialty of the night is the beer and occasional shot. Upended bottles of Jägermeister stand half-empty in their chiller/dispensers, the inverted stag suggesting a tribute to the author of this guide. A bottle of cinnamon whiskey does not last long and sugary sorority girl cocktails can be managed at all hours. There is still an active jukebox, an increasing rarity in an age when bartenders are liable to dial up a Pandora channel on their smartphone, and the music is an indefinable mix best categorized as loud and danceable.

There is a small set of long overused couches near the front, available for whiskey-earnest arguments, public foreplay, and passing out to the Instagram amusement of your friends. Toward the rear are small high tables opposite the bar, stools across long taken by the time you arrive, and the usual, narrow obstacle course through the middle where drinks are apologetically sloshed back from the bar.

To truly appreciate the Christmas Tree, it is best to dress in casual and spill-sacrificial clothing, start drinking before dinner, and continue doggedly on through the evening at one of Uptown’s many music venues until the band tears down. If you think you can still drive the Christmas Lounge is for you, or one can simply stagger over from the nearby destinations on Oak Street as they close.

Ranking: Four horns out of five largely for its promising youthful depravity.

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Sun Ra Does Disney February 17, 2008

Posted by The Typist in cryptical envelopment, Dancing Bear, Jazz, New Orelans, NOLA, Odds&Sods, Toulouse Street, Uptown.
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Like, whoa.

By all reports, neither Sun Ra nor Frank Zappa did drugs. Some people clearly did not need them to get to that special place. Anyway, no apologies necessary to Mr. Disney for whoever synced up Sun Ra playing “Pink Elephants on Parade”. Consider it revenge for my inability to listen to certain pieces of music without Mr. D’s cartoon intruding. (Not that I diskliked Fantasia, but if you had small children in the era of the VCR or later and watched it a couple of hundred times…..

Let nothing be forgotten in this place August 11, 2007

Posted by The Typist in cryptical envelopment, Dancing Bear, Flood, Hurricane Katrina, New Orleans, NOLA, Toulouse Street, Uptown, We Are Not OK.
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My son has a friend who lives up on Jackson Avenue. I’ve noticed that the shrine to Vera is gone from its spot on Jackson just south of Magazine. There is some realtor’s sign on the property, and I imagine they didn’t think that the remembrance of a victim of the flood lacked what they call on curb appeal.

By removing that memorial that property should be cursed and should never sell unless the memorial is restored.

Je me souviens.

vera1.jpg

This is the memorial as I found it Nov. 1, 2006, when I left a pot of mums. It contained photographs and a memorial/obituary notice about Vera Smith, who died at the corner of Jackson Avenue and Magazine Street on Tuesday, Aug. 31 2005, the victim of a hit-and-run driver during the frantic evacuation of New Orleans after the Flood. Her body lay on the street for days until neighbors built a rough tomb for her from found bricks and buried here (see photo below).

vera-7236221.jpg

Mr. & Mrs. Groovy Go To The Sleaze Ball February 11, 2007

Posted by The Typist in Carnival, Dancing Bear, Mardi Gras, New Orleans, NOLA, Odds&Sods, Uptown.
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Mr. and Mrs. Groovy go to the Sleaze Ball

Here we are before we set out to the fabulous annual Sleaze Ball, hosted this year by John Steed and Emma Peel at the Uptown digs of Tommy M. and Sue P. Rebecca looks much more like a spy than I do, in keeping with this year’s theme of Spy v. Spy. I set out to find a jacket for to make myself into No. 6 from The Prisoner (Be Seeing You), but found the iridescent-beetle colored coat and mod wig instead. The coat was a prefect fit, and was clearly meant to be. I’m just a goovy extra from the golden era of spy films. Just drop Its All Too Much into the player on repeat mode, and I’m ready.

Flowers for Vera November 1, 2006

Posted by The Typist in Citizen Journalism, Corps of Engineers, Flood, Garden District, Hurricane Katrina, Katrina, New Orleans, NOLA, Uptown, We Are Not OK.
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vera1.jpg

Above is the memorial to Vera Smith, who died at the corner of Jackson Avenue and Magazine Street on Tuesday, Aug. 31 2005, the victim of a hit-and-run driver during the frantic evacuation of New Orleans after the Flood. Her body lay on the street for days until neighbors built a rough tomb for her from found bricks and buried here (see photo below). If you happen to stop by soon and the mums are still there, please water them.

vera-7236221.jpg