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Everybody’s Having Fun January 19, 2013

Posted by The Typist in Carnival, Krewe du Vieux, Mardi Gras, New Orleans, Toulouse Street.

Hot gluing feather boas to a tulle bustle is not what most men in America are doing on a Friday night. Most men in America could not, turned loose in a fabric store with five minutes and a $10,000 prize, find a bolt of tulle. When my daughter’s last North Dakota recital came and her mother was in New Orleans, I felt uniquely equipped by my Carnival training to carefully trim her tutu to the desired length.

Of course this means its Carnival Time And Everybody’s Having Fun assembling some sort of costume. When I lived in North Dakota people would say, “Oh, Mardi Gras. Always wanted to do that” but I’m not sure they really meant it. There is something in the Lutheran soul not properly equipped for a religious holiday involving men wearing bustles of tulle and boas in a general atmosphere of public drunkeness and lewdity. And I cannot imagine any of them dressed as a cross between Foghorn Leghorn, Super Chicken and Priapus.

Yes, there will be pictures tagged in Facebook I am sure and no I do not care what employment counselors think of that. I want everyone at my employing bank, Moloch. N.A., to know just how much fun they are not having Saturday night, how much fun we’ll be having on Tuesday in a few weeks while they slave over laptops and Policoms. I worked with a fellow for a while who managed an invite to a selective sub-krewe and who’s wife had landed a plum job at the Contemporary Arts Center any number of art majors I know would kill to have. He was British and I loved to kid him about “going native.” I was sure they would never return to the world headquarters of Moloch but they did.

I will never understand that decision.


Repent Now! Nothing Down! Easy Terms! February 20, 2011

Posted by The Typist in Carnival, Krewe du Vieux, Mardi Gras, New Orleans, NOLA, Toulouse Street.

You know carnival is upon you when you wake at the crack of noon from the daylight leaking into your bedroom, drag yourself to the window to open it a crack and find the sun is shining, the birds are singing and you think: oh, the horror. You retreat back to the bedroom where the three-way lamp is on its dimmest setting and contemplate the bed but you’re still fighting a head cold through all this and you and the sheets both feel greasy and unclean after the last few days so you drag yourself back to the kitchen and make coffee. Hot, black, chicory coffee that complements the blackened whiskey and cigarette flavor of your unbrushed mouth; you can almost imagine the tiny crows picking over your tongue, the fly-specked battlefield of last nights revelry. You pad barefoot into the bathroom for an endlessly satisfying piss that seems to go on as long as a honeymoon at Niagra Falls, then step over to the basin and contemplate your face, the black makeup under your eyes that won’t come off with soap and water and you think: that looks about right. A shower sounds good but you think, another cup first and you sit and scroll through the messages of all the friends in from out of town, already making plans for the rest of the weekend and decide in for a penny, in for a pound. After a long, hot shower you amble back into the bedroom and count your boxers and decide the mass of laundry in the corner can wait until tomorrow. You pour some more coffee and answer emails, return calls and you think about the long road ahead to Shrove Tuesday and you know come Ash Wednesday it won’t be so much a matter of repentance as falling out with the unholy spirit, muttering in tongues, into a deep and pleasing exhaustion, your Dionisiac spirits appeased for another year.

Krewe du Vieux 2009 February 9, 2009

Posted by The Typist in Carnival, cryptical envelopment, Dancing Bear, Krewe du Vieux, Mardi Gras, New Orleans, NOLA, Toulouse Street.

Update: Not sure how I got near the top of the Google heap for Krewe du Vieux 2009, but I promise to get some links up Tuesday night that will take you to people who were much less hungover than I and did a better job of recapping the parade. Links added down under.


Another fantastic Krewe de Vieux is just a blurry memory of a great time had before, during and after. Here are three members of the Secret Sub-Krewe of B.L.O.G. (Micheal, Leigh and your own humble narrator) at the before party. Mike and Leigh are new to Seeds of Decline, and had a fantastic time at their first KduV.

All of the krewes’ response to the theme of Stimulus Package rose to the occasion with no sudden drops in blood pressure, and the fun lasted well over four hours with no trips to the emergency room. I liked the new route, but was running low on throws and energy by the time we reached Frenchman. Not using a cart caused us some problems since we like to throw, but I was generally happier working out of a throw bag. Not being the mule to the throws cart I actually saw a larger number of people I knew along the parade. Colton School was a great venue for the ball, and the music was the best it’s been in several years.

I’ll get back here and link up some pictures but it’s a crazy day at work and yesterday I was not ready to do any thing not absolutely required for survival (including those three pints of Hair o’ the Dog at Finn McCool’s for Stehen Rea’s book launch party for Finn Mccool’s Football Club: The Birth, Death, and Resurrection of a Pub Soccer Team in the City of the Dead I’m not a footballer but his wife and mine work together, and I’m looking forward to reading his book).

Once I get a free minute tonight, I’ll roll up some links to blogs and photos from the festivites from other members of the Benevolent and Lewd Order of the Garrulous (B.L.O.G.).

Later Still: Here’s the links I promised. I think the thinness of the posts is a powerful indicator of just how much fun everyone had Saturday night. It’s going to take us days to recover. I can’t get to Flickr from work (nasssty Counting House firewallll; we hates it) but if you go there and search for Krewe du Vieux 2009, you’ll find quite a few snaps. I do not recommend viewing them at work, unless you have to move that big shipment of edible candy underwear off the counter to get to your PC.

Library Chronicles Quick KdV notes

Maitri’s VatulBlog The Best Krewe du Vieux Parade Yet!

Michael Homan After Krewe du Vieux

Adrastos Krewe of Cleavage

Humid Haney KDV 2009 The Stimulus Package

Nola-dishu Krewe du Vieux 2009 with lots of pictures (see warning above).

Krewe du Vieux Soldats: Fading, fading… January 20, 2008

Posted by The Typist in Carnival, cryptical envelopment, Dancing Bear, Krewe du Vieux, Mardi Gras, New Orleans, New York, Rebirth, We Are Not OK.
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This morning’s exchange of emails among the New Orleans bloggers who march in Krewe du Vieux:

Me, 9:32 am: Subject Line: Ughhhhhh Message: Who turned on the sun?

Maitri, 10:10 am: Just woke up. Hobbling around kitchen in search of coffee and bloody marys. Oy.

Karen, 10:20 am: My fallen arches are killing me.

Peter, 11:29 am: My feet are still cold and my legs are in need of an amputation or something.

Kim, 11:41 am: Can ya’ll please keep your voices down? It’s making my head hurt.

On another note, my last blog post was perfectly prescient: two years running now I’ve managed fabulously drunk and I managed to not find several of the bloggers in a space of a few thousand square feet. That tiny space was packed, however, with the skimmed cream of New Orleans insanity. I tried several times to get back to Mama Roux’s table to try to cadge a jello shot and find Kim, but it was simply impossible to squeeze back there. (I finally got one from my co-worker, L.H.; questioning him and his charming wife still didn’t uncover the secret of how two newcomers to New Orleans managed to get into MR).

Peter, Grace, Lisa, Ashley and his bride looked fabulous in their seersucker robes and cocktail hats honoring Lafacadio Hearn. I also never managed to squeeze my well-lubricated body into C.R.A.P.S’ tight cranny (now cut that out, filthy minded old sot), and so I never did see Matri, either. I did see Ray, who walked with C.R.A.P.S. as security. Bec of New Orleans Slate marched with us and shared our throws since she rejoined our Krewe at the last moment when the captain sponsored her to march. (Hurray for Billy). She’d been out of circulation mostly taking care of her husband after his terrible accident involving his mule and carriage.

I lost my flask of Absenthe somewhere early along the parade route. (Dude! I’ll give you a hundred dollars if you drink the greed shit in that bottle in the street). This was probably a good thing, as a little absinthe goes a long way. Thankfully d.b.a was close to hand, and in spite of their sociopatheic manager-cum-bouncer we finished up the night with a raft of good German beer. I didn’t know a single name on the band list but spent an hour or more scrunched up at the front of the stage and had a blast. It was all good.

Coming to Take You Away January 19, 2008

Posted by The Typist in Carnival, cryptical envelopment, Dancing Bear, Debrisville, French Quarter, Krewe du Vieux, Mardi Gras, New Orleans, Rebirth, Remember, Toulouse Street.
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The Magical Misery Tour is coming to take you away (coming to take you awaaayyy….). Perhaps, once you’ve seen us all out on the streets, you’ll think they should be coming to take us away. No matter. It’s time for the Krewe du Vieux to once again stain the shiny, Sidney-Torres washed streets of New Orleans and once again diminish the city’s magical brand as They City That Forgot to Care.

Our King is Ronald W. Lewis of the Lower Ninth Ward in New Orleans: Director, House of Dance & Feathers and President, Big 9 Social Aid & Pleasure Club.

The secret sub-subKrewe of B.L.O.G.* will once again celebrate by getting notoriously drunk and failing to each other at the ball. Our featured drink will be Absinthe. As the self-appointed captain of this nearly non-existant group, I proclaim Bec our Queen, since I’m so pickled she’s going to make it and march. Not as pickled, however, as I will be later tonight. My personal theme this year is Getting L.H. Really Drunk and Taking Embarrassing Pictures I Can Use To Advance My Career at the Bank. My costume is titled: Oh! Wendy? but only someone who thinks Capitol when they hear “hill” will figure out how the hell it fits into the Seeds of Decline’s theme of Fools on the Hill.

Don’t forget the new start time–6:30 PM–and the new route. route08.gif

And don’t forget the Krewe du Vieux Doo, at 2121 Chartres St., featuring 101 Runners (Mardi Gras Indian Funk), Juice with Special Guest J.D. Hill, Honey Island Swamp Band, and Late Night Trip by Quintron and Miss cat (whatever that is). Tickets are advance sale only at:

  • Mardi Gras Zone: 2706 Royal Street
  • Louisiana Music Factory: 210 Decatur Street
  • Up In Smoke: 4507 Magazine Street
  • Miss Claudia’s Vintage Clothing and Costumes
  • *B.L.O.G. is the Benevolent and Order of the Garrulous.