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Coffee Zombie Wants Brains July 4, 2015

Posted by The Typist in New Orleans, The Narrative, The Typist, Toulouse Street, We Are Not OK.

Well, one would do. Mine. I think it is near where I left my coffee cup, the collision of ADHD and exhaustion. That’s quite enough, Brother Coyote, I mumble under my breath.

Another six hours sleep, divided by pointless wandering around the house from sixish until about 7:30. I will find out before long if the UI for SleepBot can handle a sleep debt in three figures.

I am so fucking tired. It should be a good tired. I climbed out of a hole of sloth and cleaned, mostly, the front room and bedroom. Nothing piled on the coffee table, most of the floor of the bedroom clear enough to vacuum, many boxes of indecision finally sorted and collated into a single, plastic container,  hours of work.  Spilling hole punch dots  in the living room on my way out from the bedroom to the trash was a high point, leaving  me on my knees picking up the tiny bits and some carpet burn in the process.  So much left undone: the wall near the ionizing fan, a bad idea for smokers, the thin-film of tar capturing the zapped clumps which then cling to the wall.  I know it’s the tar because of the two dozen screen wipes coming away brown from the television screen. The kitchen and bathroom of one-and-a-half men still to do, the boxes of not going to happen garage sale stuff to haul out to Goodwill. An A/C unit for the front so I can finally avoid a repeat of Satan’s Private Cellar Special Reserve Heat Rash with Fungus for Exceptionally Unrepentant Sinners, punishment for deciding to walk in the morning for exercise when I was cutting it so close to my 6:30 am meeting I didn’t take time to shower or change.  And Monday spins over the horizon, sucking up the energy of its slaves until an eye wall forms and the storm winds blow, the Eye of Moloch which watches over us all.

Eye of Moloch


I need a long weekend but not this. I need the fresh air of mountains and an unseasonable fire, the cool breeze blowing down the  moonlight road on the ocean, beer with lunch and a long nap in a hammock or sling chair, bar-b-q from a shack down the road or a dozen Oyster Corexit and a pitcher of  thin Mexican beer.

Sadly, what I need is a new mop. And that tiny, rattly A/C unit I found on the Home Depot web site, which will draw just few enough amps to allow it to run on the outside wall circuit with two others.  And the joy of throwing open the window long enough to install it, with heat indexes over 100. I don’t think I’m so wicked I deserve to be reduced to a puddle by that exercise, but sadly the world thinks otherwise. No rest for the wicked, hah. As if lounging with a hookah smoking black tar in company with comely courtesan were hard work. Instead, it is no rest for the diligent, or at least for those of us who put up a Potemkin front of diligence, propped up by coffee and an irrational send of duty, just sturdy enough to last the week.  I can leave the kitchen as it is (sandals recommended, like a gym shower, to avoid the loose bits and stickiness) and go fix my sister’s computer and printer. Or go out and get a mop. Or get the mop after.  Going back to bed is not an option.

And then the question remains of what to do tonight, on the Fourth of July in this year of Our Founding Father Who Art In Heaven 2010, also  the 207th anniversary of the sale of my people to the United States, the descendants of the  paternal ancestor who arrived on a ship uncertain but who was married in Lafourche Parish in 1721, two generations before 1776. What little patriotic excitement I could once muster was washed out to sea by Katrina, and sunk under the blood-red waters of the Deepwater Horizon. How to feel that stirring  at tonight’s rocket red glare after all that? As I concluded years ago, the American Experiment is ended and the results are in. It failed.1

Do I know how to put on a cheerful face?  Or what.

I do know how to put a flag on my flagpole. I didn’t have time this latest, crazy week to go get a new flag of Orleans, so I will have to fly the faded and ragged one I have, the sort the flag over Fort McHenry probably looked like after all those mortar bombs bursting in air. I never much liked the Star Spangled Banner anyway. I much prefer the Marseille and its bloody honesty.

I keep forgetting: how would one say “we will armor the levees with their skulls” in French?

Ah, yes, coffee zombie is rambling if not babbling again.  That is how the mind of The Typist works on a good day, the rambling turning into babbling under the influence of coffee and exhaustion. Coffee zombie clearly needs another cup, because brains are so hard to come by these days. Just spend five minutes on Facebook if you don’t believe me.

1. If you find my opinions offensive, as my people were here first, feel free to go back to where ever you came from. As if they’d have you. 2

2. “It’s the straight dope peddler, spreading joy where ever he goes.”


1. Rick Penn - July 4, 2015

You are correct. This experiment begun on the backs of slaves & the bodies of aboriginals has failed. I was so sure 50 years ago that this country would overcome & shine. It did neither.


The Typist - July 5, 2015

Rick, the span between passage of the Civil Rights Act and the GOP’s active campaign of Black disenfranchisement lasted what, 20 years at the outside? Say from ’64 to the coup of 2000 the United States was a fully functional democracy for say 36 years at most. Spare me Obama, please. Yes, I voted for him the first time to say I was part of that historic moment. And how he has his TPP and the recent BP settlement will be the last of its kind we shall ever see.


2. Marco - July 4, 2015

I bought you a Swiffer 4th of July edition mop. Judging by the recent experience I had with Home Depot online refunding me for a chipmunk zapper, it should reach you by the next 4th of July.


The Typist - July 5, 2015

Marco, it is so far past Swiffering it is not funny. I think a first past with a floor burnisher with sandpaper pads may be in order. Or a pressure washing. At the very least a proper mopping with occasional resort to some hands and knees with a brush.


3. Marco - July 5, 2015

Pressure washing, I understand.


4. Beth - July 6, 2015

Hole punch dots. Been there.


5. candice - July 11, 2015

Nous allons à l’armure nos levées avec leurs crânes.

Broke out the French android keyboard just for you. Could also ‘blinder’ them or call a levee a digue.

Liked by 1 person

The Typist - July 12, 2015

Funny, I usually post my thoughts on the bloody French National Anthem on Bastile Day, with the scene in Rick’s from Casablanca. Your’s with translation variants is the best in almost ten years. If digue is the better term for levee or dike I think I’m going to stick with that one,


candice - July 12, 2015

I’ve been attempting to read a novel in French again so it is fresher in my head. A couple of years ago I read the Belly of Paris in French on Orleans parish criminal court jury duty.


candice - July 13, 2015

digue is probably the right word. there’s a few ways to armor things, but the one I chose is how you would put armor on a horse…

Liked by 1 person

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