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Forget Jazzland and Six Flags. I’m Going To Debrisville! April 23, 2008

Posted by The Typist in 504, 8-29, Debrisville, New Orleans, NOLA, Toulouse Street, We Are Not OK.
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A $70 million plan proposed to resurrect the twice-failed Six Flags (formerly Jazz Land) amusement park in New Orleans East! Finally, an idea that could actually produce cranes, if only to drive them into the air to fly away from all the racket.

If this falls through, I think I want to put together a package for a Katrina/Flood themed attraction. I mean, why should the bus and van tour companies be the only ones making money off misery?

Announcing: Debrisville! After your solemn ride through Gentilly and New Orleans East, you’ll be ready for a hurricane of fun living the post-Flood lifestyle! Experience the genuine exhilaration of the frightening Road Home Roller coaster! Hold on to your lunch as you experience Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride Down Annunciation! Don’t miss the thrill-of-a-lifetime ride to the top of the Helicopter Hoist! And dare to live dangerously as you play Red Light Bumper Cars!

Don’t forget to visit our water attraction Lakeview Lagoon and thrill to the latest in wave pools technology in the When The Levees Break flood pool! When that big wave come be sure to watch out for those cars and houses! Or take a leisurely tube ride down our careful fiberglass reconstruction of St. Claude Avenue in Escape from the Ninth Ward!. While you’re there, be sure to experience the ultimate in Roof Top Dining in Lakeview’s MRE Cafe!

And just because it’s not Six Flags doesn’t mean you have to miss some old-time excitement. Be sure to visit Gangsta Town, where we will revive the old Six Flag tradition of cowboy shoot outs updated for the 21st century. In Gangsta Town you can not only visit the Rock Candy Store and see the girls do the booty shake while sipping a 40 oz Barq’s at the all-ages, family-friendly Hip-Hop House Party, you can thrill to a realistic gangta gun battle right there in the street. They’ll be poppin’ and droppin’ like nobody’s business!

Anybody else in on this?


1. KAren - April 23, 2008

Don’t forget the Causeway Concentration Camp..Park goers will be placed int sun for hours and hours promised relief and then Nothing!


2. alli - April 23, 2008

Laser Tag, except it’s National Guard rifle scopes checking you out. The MPs also play “knock the pop cans off the humvee with nonlethal weapons in residential neighborhoods.” That’s got the makings of a fairground attraction already. Maybe they can charge $5 for each contestant? Free if they walk around asking for volunteers’ social security numbers.


3. Wet Bank Guy - April 24, 2008

And of course a h/t to Adrastos, who coined the term Debrisville.


4. mominem - April 24, 2008

Stacy Land

Since there’s plenty of land nearby you could probably create a trailer park of surplus FEMA trailers to give the tourists a taste of that post-Katrina lifestyle. You could rent 30% of them to locals who don’t have a house to live in.


5. Wet Bank Guy - April 24, 2008

I rather like that. Or we could call the RV park FEMAville, and ring it with a high, razor-wire topped fence and flood it with lights 24/7. There would be armed guards with assault riffles at the gate. No shuttle service would be provided. You want to get somewhere, you walk.


6. Gentilly Girl - April 24, 2008

You forgot the CatWalk.


7. mominem - April 24, 2008

You could do both. A self park section and a rental area.


8. KamaAina - April 24, 2008

What about a Hall of Republican Presidents and Wannabes? Watch as an animatronic George W. Bush (I know, I know, how can you tell?) swaps realistic spit with C. Ray Nagin’s likeness (?). Marvel at the realism in John McCain’s muffled voice as he vows “Never again!” while scarfing down a slice of birthday cake. Afterwards, treat yourself to a glass of iced tea on Trent Lott’s just-rebuilt front porch…


9. A - April 24, 2008

At closing time, can we load people onto trams and then make them wait in line for eight hours before we let them out? The Evacuation Station!


10. New Orleans - April 25, 2008

Don’t forget taser tag and the blackwater boogie! Or maybe the Give up your guns 2 step at the lose your rights Mardi Gras Parade?

This is so sad.


11. Wet Bank Guy - April 25, 2008

Not so sad, New Orleans, to be able to laugh at our own misfortune. It is a sign of strength.


12. streetz - July 2, 2008

july 11 rap competition
hosted by jigga j.t. at
the howlin wolf 907 south peters st
new orleans entry fee is $10.00


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